I've been working on the Avril the Yawnosaur script following the walkthrough with the group and our principle actor. It was clearly too long because of the amount of narrative, so I took to the prose. Now the story is ready to rely more on the visuals, perfect for the film medium and is the right length.
Below is the v4 script, I should do a scriptment, but may just go to a storyboard.
Avril the Yawnosaur
(With Kylie, Olivia and Ying)
(tired but happy from bed)
Daddy, you’re back.
Hi Little one, are you still awake?
Dad moving to the bed - having just come through door.
I couldnt sleep
Dad sits on the edge of the bed
awww that’s a big yawn.
Can you tell me a story
Hmmm, a quick one then.
Alicia nestles down and Dad tells the story with facial
animation, actions (sound effects are layered on as effects)
As the story is told, cartoon-like images of the creatures
appear and move about on the walls of the room - showing
Avril’s imagination playout out there.
This is the story of ... ah yes ...
young Avril the Yawnosaur.
On this very night, little Avril
just couldnt get to sleep. All the
other Yawnosaurs in her tribe were
already snoozing, oblivious to all
the strange jungle sounds that kept
There’s the Stompadon, the biggest
and hairiest of all the creatures
in the jungle. He was out looking
for his comb and his thunderous
feet were stomping and stomping.
High in the trees a pair of
Poposaurususes were doing their
version of song, which included the
occasional POP - setting free a
cloud of leaves each time.
Then there was a lone
pteranoscreech swooping and
squeeling high above the dense
canopy, but the sound still
penetrated all the way down to
little Avril’s ears.
Pteranoscreeches learn to talk by
scraping their long claws on
blackrocks high in the mountains
and by the sound of things, this
one must have done lots of
Avril knew she was still learning,
but decided to give yawning a try.
Avril joins in as well (she yawns along with Dad each time)
But nothing changed. She looked
around her family for help, but
they all slept peacefully despite
the all the stomps, pops and
Avril the little Yawnosaur then
composed herself and did her
biggest biggest yawn.
At first the jungle seems just as
noisy, but then Avril heard the
sound of something very large
nestling down to sleep. The
Stompadon was no longer stomping.
Avril smiled, but then the loud POP
from high in the trees and that ear
splitting screech returned.
OK, she thought, closing her eyes
briefly in concentration, and let
out a huuuuge yawn.
After a peculiar pooooop sound no
more leaves are seen falling from
high up in the trees. The
Poposaurususes must be sleeping now
Avril thought nothing could resist
that yawn. But it wasnt long before
she heard that chilling squeal
again. Was there anything she could
do about the Pteranoscreech soaring
so high above the jungle where she
was trying to get to sleep.
Avril flexed her arms and looked
around at her sleeping family one
more time before letting out the
very biggest yawn the jungle would
Avril and Dad do huge yawns. Alicia blinks a little
afterwards - looking extra sleepy.
Exhausted, head on her mossy
pillow, she listened hard for the
sound of the pteranoscreech. She
found it hard to concentrate,
feeling sleepier and sleepier.
Avril more rested now, contented, Dad talking more quietly.
The jungle was now quiet, no more
stomps, pops or screeching could be
heard and little Avril dreamed of
yawning, lots of yawning.
Dad slides a loose hair across Avril’s forehead
sweet dreams my little creature.
FADE AWAY (BACKING MUSIC CONTINUES)
The Pteranoscreech plummets to the ground with a thud,
sleeping soundly :-)